this title is dumb

I never wanted to let you go. I wasn’t thinking. Go figure, now I’m just overthinking and all I know is that I hope youre doing better without me and I’m sorry. I stop thinking about you; I catch myself laughing at goofy ass shit we’d do, or youd say, randomly. Its stupid. You brought me genuine happiness and for that I am eternally grateful. And I truly truly hope that your next girlfriend understands and sees you in the same light I see you in, or better. You deserve it.

Everything is falling apart. I’m falling apart. I dont understand how so many things can happen to one person in this short of a time span. 

Life has an odd way of waking you up and showing you that the quote “I know nothing” is in fact the truest to remember. I know nothing, I am in control of my actions and emotions, but when it comes to my life’s path I have learned that it has its own plan for me. There’s comfort in the sky, in the red robins and hummingbirds that keep following me, there’s comfort in clouds distancing away from one another, and even from the leaves that dance from left to right. The weirdest comfort is the hill of dirt that lied outside at the cemetery with a shovel next to it today. Happiness isn’t forever and neither is pain. Nothing is. And that gives me a sort of push. Its all a path, a circle, a circle of learning, being, loving, meeting different souls, accepting things as they are, of confusing yourself and of learning who you truly are. All of this, so one day once you’re gone you can still be okay with saying “I know nothing”, but at least I tried, at least I gave it everything I could and experienced every emotion that came my way, at least I did stupid shit in order to not repeat it, and also did amazing things to look back on them. Man is a fool to think he has it all figured out. So, here I am, in the weirdest stage I have ever stepped on. Arms open wide. Growing up is truly an amazing rollercoaster.